Thoughts. Thoughts are the root of it all.
Thoughts create beliefs which lead to action.
You take actions based on your beliefs which you created from your thoughts.
According to Psychology Today, the average person has about 70,000 thoughts per day. 60% to 70% of those thoughts are negative.
Image Source: Pinterest by Rhiannon Archard
Most of us don’t even realize it because we’ve had the same thoughts for periods of time, they are on auto-play so we don’t even challenge them. We just learn to live with them.
Well, not anymore. In this blog, I will share how to shift your thoughts so they align with your goals instead of against them.
In those thousands of thoughts, there are many different kinds. They are not all considered equal. I am focusing today on 2 types of thoughts ergo beliefs:
1. Outdated thoughts: The ones we learned when we were younger from those around us and we are still living by those beliefs as adults even though they no longer serve us.
2. Pattern-based thoughts: Thoughts that became beliefs as adults and created a reality that we are dissatisfied with however we don’t question them because we have (unfortunately) adjusted and learned to live that way.
Remember: Thoughts create beliefs which create your identity and you always act according to what you identify with.
Let me share with you a personal story that showcases an example of outdated thought and its consequence…
As a kid, I grew up in a latin culture, I was taught not to talk back to my elders because it was considered disrespectful. It’s engrained in the culture and it’s something you simply don’t do. I grew up and never really re-evaluated that belief and my actions reflected that which once I started working in corporate it impacted how I behaved and what I allowed even if it crossed my personal boundaries.
When I was in corporate, most of my managers were older than me. Without realizing I found it hard to challenge their opinions/thoughts which prevented me from speaking up even if I was being disrespected which unfortunately is something that still happens today.
It wasn’t until a few years ago when I was sharing with my husband an incident that occurred at work in which I was disrespected in front of my whole team. I was frustrated, angry and out of sorts. He asked why hadn’t I spoken up. In that moment, it had clicked…I knew exactly why. My manager was much older and I was still abiding by my identity, my beliefs that you never talk back to those older than you. It was in that instant that I realized that belief had to be updated and changed so it worked for me instead of against me.
THE EVOLUTION OF OUR BELIEFS + THOUGHTS
As adults, we don’t necessarily re-evaluate our beliefs from when we were kids. Some of those beliefs can still apply today as adults as long you choose to but most of them are outdated and irrelevant which prevent you from getting you the results you want because you’re still taking action based on those beliefs without even knowing so.
Do you see why it’s so important to get intimate with your thoughts?
You have the power and capability to change your thoughts, your beliefs about anything you want. So let's get started!
6 STEPS TO HELP YOU GET INTIMATE WITH YOUR THOUGHTS
How to shift your thoughts + align them with your goals
1. Awareness: Pick an area in which you’re not happy. think of a specific area in your life in which you are dissatisfied with. As an example, let’s use career, specifically you are not happy with where you are at, your current title/salary or even where you thought you would be by now.
2. Get Clear: Set time aside to write down all of the reasons why you’re not happy/dissatisfied. Be specific on where your disappointment comes from. Call it out, be open, let it breath and let it out! For example: Is it your salary, your title, the industry you’re at, etc. In the list, also write down your desires & goals: where you wish you were now in career, how much money you want to make, how you would feel if you were there already (accomplished, excited, fulfilled, etc)
3. Be Inspector Gadget for the next 5 days! Commit to spending the next 5 days being aware of your thoughts when it comes to that area, in this example thoughts around your job/career. It’s important to be honest, be curious, be open. Remember, you’re doing this because you truly want to make a change and this is the first step in trying to figure out where to start. Create a note on your iphone or open up a draft email and write down what comes up during these 5 days:Include how often you think how dissatisfied you are in that area of your life. what feelings/thoughts come up when you think about it, how often do you complain about it. What words do you use to describe your dissatisfaction. All details are welcomed!
4. Evaluate + Toss: After the 5-day period, pull up a pen & paper and create 2 columns:
Label the left side with: "Old-thoughts patterns" -- Go back to the notes you took during the week and take a look at what came up for you. You will find some patterns in your thoughts. As you’re looking through your notes, feel free challenge your own thoughts. Ask yourself: What’s the root of them? Do I as an adult believe in x though today? For example in the story I shared with you earlier about my job, when my husband asked me why I hadn’t spoken up, that’s when I realized that it wasn’t because I was afraid to speak up today as adult but because I thought it would have been disrespectful. That lead me to realize that it is NOT disrespectful to speak up when you are being bullied. See the process?
Label the right side with: "Current patterns" -- Go back to the notes you took during the week and take a look at what came up for you and start noticing where the majority of your thoughts are around. Did you notice you are constantly saying the same thing all day long. In the example of your career, did you catch yourself constantly saying: I HATE MY JOB. I HATE MY JOB. I HATE MY JOB? Write down all of those emotions, patterns, bitch-fests during lunch time, etc. because it all matters. Whatever you are constantly saying and thinking about become your beliefs which then become your reality. If you find yourself constantly saying how much you hate it, you are only going to create more of that hate which at the end of the will not bring you the solution or the peace of mind that you are seeking for.
5. Time to shift: Toss + Reconsider Buckets. Once you’ve created the sheet with the columns including all of the recon from the past 5 days, it’s time to clean it up and re-evaluate.
In the "Old-thought pattern" column: Once you’ve gotten to the root of it (this may take a few days, no rush) and you realize that it no longer applies and the belief no longer serves you, you can easily release it and change it for a new belief. In my personal story, I was able to shift it and the new belief became: As an adult, it is safe for me to speak up to adults when I am being disrespected.
In the "Current Pattern" column: Flip the coin and look for the positive in your current job. There is for sure at least one thing that you can point out that is positive! Replace the old crappy story with a new positive story. Next time you catch yourself wanting to say: I HATE MY JOB. Replace it with: I am grateful for this paycheck or whatever that positive thing might be for you. This will replace the old story which leads to zero results and more frustration to new positive energy which will attract more of it.
6. “Faith it ‘til you make it” – Time to embody the feelings/emotions of what you desire. Until you achieve that goal and change the dissatisfied area in your life with a big SATISFIED, it's time to faith it. Meaning think about what would it feel like once you achieve that goal? In the case of your career, once you land the job of your dreams, how would that feel? Let’s say that you don’t even know what you want to do…you definitely know HOW YOU WANT TO FEEL! Landing the job of my dreams would make me feel respected, appreciated, happy, joyful, empowered, excited, etc. Today, start doing things that bring you those feelings because that my friends it’s what’s going to allow to create that shift in your life and attract what you desire.
Remember, we are energy, made of energy. We attract what we want based on our energy which is created by how we feel. That energy causes a vibration which attracts exactly that of which you feel. Our thoughts are beliefs which vibrate at a certain energy level. Think about when you feel down, you are tired & all you want to do is sleep (low energy). On the other hand, when you are excited, joyful, your energy is high and contagious.
If there’s an area in which you’re not happy, it’s important to take accountability in what can I do to make a shift. Ask yourself, what am I bringing to the table? How am I responsible and what I can DO TODAY to start shifting?
Don’t settle with what you are not happy with. Challenge it, change it and go after your goals. It’s possible, I promise. Take it from someone who spent over a decade in corporate to then taking the biggest leap and starting her own business.
Want more? Check out the latest live episode of Zen Mondays as I dive into this topic a bit more + share a beautiful guided meditation to get you to feel those feelings behind your desires and goals.
Nothing is impossible.
Keep shakin' & spreading those positive vibes!