• Stephanie Virchaux

HOW TO STOP COMPARISON & START LOVING YOURSELF FOR WHO YOU ARE


Comparison, being hard on yourself, doubting your abilities is a tough road to navigate.

You know deep in your heart, somewhere in there, that you're amazing, smart, skilled, confident, a truly wonderful person. But that part of you seems so far away, so distant.

We forget how to re-connect, we forget how to be that part of us that is the essence of who we are. That part of us energizes us, that makes us feel alive.


Now, more that ever is time to know how to tap into that part of ourselves. It's time to let that most authentic part of us shine and most importantly, lead the way.


It's time to know how to love, appreciate, trust ourselves for the exact person that we are.




First things first: That magical, divine, confident, joyful part of you is already within you.


It hasn't forgotten about you, it hasn't *left the chat*, it hasn't vanished.


That part of you is within you. Alive, aware, ready for you to bring it out.


So let's go, time to bring it out!



SHUT OUT THE NOISE

This means shut out the external noise that triggers you to play small. Unfollow, mute, tune out, *exit the chat* on all the things that make you feel less than.


You have the power, the authority, the strength and the responsibility to surround yourself, consume content & do do things that empower you, that energizes you, that allows you to connect with that internal bad-ass, confident, joyful, loving part of you.


Everything else OUT.


(Oh and BTW stop the gossip, comparison, bad-mouthing others or yourself. That energy is so yesterday & just no-bueno)



YOU HAVE THE KEYS

Remember, you have the keys, the power to validate yourself. Do it.


Start validating and acknowledging how amazing, wonderful, witty, charming, funny, smart, capable, resourceful, fun and joyful you are.


I mean, we all know you are. Isn't it time for you to actually recognize it & embrace it?



START COMMUNICATING WITH YOURSELF IN A HEALTHY, HAPPY WAY

You already talk to you all day long. Whether it's about your job, going grocery shopping, running errands, whatever it may be, you are already in communication with yourself.


Then there is that little, incessant voice. You know what I'm talking about: the all-day, never-ending conversation with yourself about "never being enough" "not worthy of happiness" "not good enough" -- ugh. Enough.


It's time to shut that sh*t down. For real.


Let's change the narrative of that voice. After all, you are the leader, the captain, the first-in-command of what's going on within you. Own it.


Although at times, that voice may seem out of your control. It's not.


So next time it's shows up wanting to narrate some outdated BS, remind it "actually that's not true, the truth is "I am amazing, I am worthy, I am capable"


The more you do it, the easier it becomes to create a new pattern and a new narrative.



HOW TO STOP THAT NASTY INNER VOICE FROM CREEPING BACK IN

Ugh, *le sigh*


We've all been there. Happy, loving life, excited, ready to ask for a promotion, or take a leap a faith, when that little voice slowly creeps back in and *ruins all the good vibes* -- what's up with that & how do we stop it?!


The answer to ALL THINGS: You LOVE IT.


For real, when it comes up, you tell it "I love you"


And the proceed to say something along the lines of :


"I know you might mad, angry, sad, disappointed but regardless of all of that, I still LOVE YOU!


This is a new day, a new way of being & we're changing things around here.


No more nasty talk, no more comparison, no more lies.


This is a safe space, a loving space.


You're welcome to stay if you play by my rules. Otherwise, let's take a break.


I still love you but if you're not willing to play by the new rules, it's time for you to go"


You may read this & think it's silly, or think I'm totally going to try this!


I'm telling you: try it, it works.


Note: You may have to have this internal conversation with yourself multiple times. It's a matter of repetition and practice until this inner voice gets used to your new way of being.



PAY ATTENTION TO YOUR ACTIONS

Are you doing what you love, enjoy and what brings you joy?


Or are you doing things to please others, get validation from others & fit in with those around you?


*ouch. this is a bit of tough love*


This is a BIG ONE so listen up.


In the process of learning to love ourselves, we must do things that we love.


We must do things for us, not for the crowd.


From what we eat, to what we wear, to which activities we chose to do.


I know, there can be a ton of pressure from society, family, friends, co-workers, to be a certain way. To act a certain way. To behave a certain way to fit in, to be loved, to get that external validation.


BUT if that's not who are you, it's not aligned with your values, those actions are actually creating that separation that results in comparison & feeling less than.


NOT because others make you feel less than, but because you yourself are not honoring the most authentic version of you.



So what do you say? Ready to start loving, appreciating, empowering who you are?